FAITH IN FUTURE GRACE

Faith, Grace, and things of that sort...

2009-08-04T08:43:00.003-04:00

As I read Romans chapters 13 and 14 this morning, it was business as usual. I pulled out my Bible... well to be completely honest, I pulled out my Iphone and clicked on my ESV Bible app (if anyone reading this happens to talk to Scott Kay let him know, Yes... there is an app for that). Anyway, I disgress. I began reading words I have read so many times before. They mean something to me but, as CJ would say, I was not freshly affected by them. That is until I came to the second part of the last verse in chapter 14 which says "For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin." OUCH! This quickly brought to mind another scripture, Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

Faith is not my strong suit. If I know what I will have to endure, I can endure it. I might even be able to endure it well. It is those indefinite situations that cause me to believe I have no favor in the sight of God and that the burden is too great to bare. And yes... I do know how ridiculous that sounds, but only when God gives me the grace to see it. Something you will see regularly posted here, and hear from my mouth is Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen"...

Everything written above I began writing yesterday, not knowing what new trials were around the corner. Never have these truths been so real to me than they are today. Yesterday afternoon began a new trial, with new temptations to a lack of faith. I feel broken and weary BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL! In trials I have a very hard time believing the latter part of Hebrews 11:6 "...for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him". My first response in my heart, is that the Lord must be punishing me for past sin, or that I have sought Him through very difficult situations, yet I see no reward. Then God is so gracious to show me how I am calling Him a liar. This is NOT the character of the God I serve! So I either have to be so deceived to say I believe nothing that I've known about Him, or humble enough to say I know little, but I do know the character of my God and circumstance will not change what I know to be true.

So today, I am clinging to the truth found in 1 Peter 5:6-11 :

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

So, if you happen to think about me, please pray for faith. Faith that God's plan is bigger, wiser, and better than mine.

There is no condemnation

2009-07-28T13:26:00.004-04:00

The Lord has begun softening my heart to my sin. Revealing things I did not realize were there. With that usually come condemnation, and today it came like a flood. I have always felt that I have never done anything too bad. Nothing that at least half the church hadn't done, anyway. There are always those sins that you think you are "above". The ones that others commit and you think "how could they ever...?". What happens when we are the ones that cross those lines, or even more what if we never cross those lines? Are we better than others because we hold ourselves to this false standard? Our standard should be God's standard. A standard we can never meet. None of us are better than a murderer, a rapist, an adulterer, a fornicator, a thief, or anything else we think we would never do. For the scripture is clear: there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. In the eyes of God we are on an even playing field... covered by the blood of Christ. His wrath has been COMPLETELY satisfied! As I felt condemned a part of this song came into my head. I couldn't remember most of the words, so I looked them up online. As I began to read these words all I could do was cry. How undeserving am I of such love and mercy. Then verse one of Romans chapter eight came to mind. I began reading the whole chapter and just could not stop. How wonderful is our great high priest. Amen.

Before the throne of God above

I have a strong and perfect plea

A great High Priest whose name is love

Who ever lives and pleads for me

My name is graven on His hands

My name is written on His heart

I know that while in heaven He stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart

No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end of all my sin

Because the sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free

For God, the Just, is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

To look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there, the risen Lamb

My perfect, spotless righteousness

The great unchangeable I AM

The King of Glory and of Grace

One with Himself I cannot die

My soul is purchased by His blood

My life is hid with Christ on high

With Christ my Savior and my God

With Christ my Savior and my God

ROMAN CH. 8
8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. 12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. 31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Thankful Thursday

2009-06-11T15:46:00.002-04:00

Okay, this is a new thing I decided to do last week. Although, I didn't get a chance to do it. So I am starting this week and will TRY to continue this on a weekly basis. God has really just encouraged me, through His faithfulness, to regularly and specifically meditate on what God is doing in my life. My hope is that we all begin to thank God more and have His grace and mercy revealed to us.

THANK YOU FOR:

1. Rest, as I have had trouble sleeping
2. A job that I enjoy
3. Peace as I make decisions
4. People to help me with life
5. Confrontation that reveals sin
6. Building relationships with new friends
7. Energy to play with my kids once I get home from work
8. Simple and tangible blessing from those I hardly know
9. Revealing the power that is held in just the name of Jesus
10. Caring about the little things, when they are humbly brought in prayer

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus...

2009-02-09T15:00:00.003-05:00

For the past week, or so, the song below has truly ministered to me in so many ways. Especially the part that says " How He watches o’er His loved ones Those He died to make His own How for them He’s interceding Pleading now before the throne ". It is so endearing to me to know that he is interceding for me! I literally have had this song on repeat in my car (and in my head) for the past week. Being so deeply moved by these words I decided to do a mini study of Jesus' intercession for us and found these verses to minister to my soul as well:

Hebrews 4:15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 6:19 We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, 20 where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever...

I am also a lover of words, and find I take much joy in the knowledge of the true meaning of a word. In the dictionary the word intercede means to act or interpose in behalf of someone in difficulty or trouble, as by pleading or petition.

Jesus is an advocate for me before the throne of God! Lately I have been struggling with multiple issues. Some are more recent and I know they are fleeting. Others are not so fleeting. None the less, I am comforted that no matter how long or short the trial or waiting is, the whole time, without ceasing, the Lord is interceding on my behalf. I have also been learning that the sin does not come from not liking the trial or the waiting. The sin comes when I believe that God is "holding out" on me. My God is one gives freely and abundantly ALL good things, in their time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end). Praise be to God, for knows and hears my hearts desires, and gives me all that is good!

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me
Underneath me, all around me
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above

Oh the deep, deep love
All I need and trust
Is the deep, deep love of Jesus

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Spread His praise from shore to shore
How He came to pay our ransom
Through the saving cross He bore
How He watches o’er His loved ones
Those He died to make His own
How for them He’s interceding
Pleading now before the throne

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Far surpassing all the rest
It’s an ocean full of blessing
In the midst of every test
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Mighty Savior, precious Friend
You will bring us home to glory
Where Your love will never end

He's always been faithful to me...

2008-09-16T14:20:00.002-04:00

Music with beautiful words always has the ability to stir up emotion and passion in me. On Sunday we sang the song "He's always been faithful". Even now as I sit here typing, singing the song in my head it brings tears to my eyes. I look at my life and see God's grace everywhere. Though I make foolish decisions, though I am selfish, when I had no understanding of God's character and therefore no understanding of what pleased God; He pursues me. He has protected me, guided me, and loved me with an everlasting love. Daily I forget the God I serve. I make Him into a pebble when He is the Rock. So easy is it to rely on self, and forget what God has done and continues to do in our lives.

God, I cry out to you! I praise You and all Your beauty. I weep with regret for what I have not done well, and weep for joy in the blood that has covered it. I praise you for Your goodness. You are truly good in all ways. You are my one true desire! My only survival.

though i feel in want, i need not
though i strive for happiness, i have joy
though i long for comfort, i have peace
i have all in You
i desire what only You can give

i have searched for love, and found pain
i have tried to succeed, but lacked gain
my best is worth rags
a sentence to death, yet i have life
i have all in You

my search for the temporal, for the perfect fruit
how my heart so easily fixes on one
but You have provided many
You provide the garden, despite my futile efforts
and i realize again
i have all in You

Lord bind me to thee
let Your proven love resonate in my mind and my heart
may it compel me to trust You more tomorrow
than i have today
may my heart's song always be
i have all in You

1 Peter 3:13-17

2008-06-09T22:50:00.002-04:00

How gently and gracefully You draw me. How I am deeply moved by Your love for me. It is so easy for me to tell someone I love them. It is wonderful to believe someone loves me. But no one can express perfect sacraficial love, but You. All of my desires You hold in Your hands. By love songs I could be moved to tears for longing, now I smile knowing You fulfill all love songs! You are greater than any human emotion. You satisfy more than a desire fulfilled! You are the lover of my soul. My contentment comes from serving You, because I know it never goes unnoticed, and I desire to hear You say, "Well done". I take comfort in Your plan as a baby takes comfort in his mother's arms... I know I am safe here.

"Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good?But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil." ~ 1 peter 3:13-17

Too many worries...

2008-05-13T21:57:00.002-04:00

Lord there are so many thoughts, worries, and fears that are in my head right now. So many things that I am trying to plan or foresee. So many thoughts that are keeping my thoughts from you. I am not sure how to push them to the side so I may have a heart that only longs for you. As I dwell on your word tonight, may my heart be at peace within me. May I no longer look to what the future holds as my comfort, but let me forever find my comfort in you. I praise you, for you plan my footsteps, so I have no need to worry or fear.

Psalm 57

2008-05-12T23:13:00.002-04:00

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
till the storms of destruction pass by.

*I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills His purpose for me.*

He will send from heaven and save me;
he will put to shame him who tramples on me. selah
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!

My soul is in the midst of lions;
I lie downamid fiery beasts-
the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
Let your glory be over all the earth!

They set a net for my steps;
my soul was bowed down.
They dug a pit in my way,
but they have fallen into it themselves.
Selah

My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast!
I will sing and make melody!

Awake, my glory!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awake the dawn!

I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;
I will sing praises to you among the nations.

For your steadfast love is great to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
Let your glory be over all the earth!

If I could just sit with you awhile

2008-05-09T19:04:00.003-04:00

When I cannot feel, when my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel, hidden in You
Lord, You are my life so I don't mind to die
Just as long as I am hidden in You

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while,
I need You to hold me Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

When I know I’ve sinned when I should have been
Crying out my God and hidden in you
Lord I need you now, more than I know how
So I humbly bow, hidden in you

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

Lord, I will trust you

2008-05-09T17:51:00.005-04:00

"Search my heart, search my mind, search my soul
Make me clean, make me new, make me whole

All of my plans, all of my dreams,
I lay them down before Your feet
All of my time, all that was mine,
I now submit to Your design "

- Aaron Shust

Yesterday was the day. Court was in the morning and everyone went as scheduled. The first part of the day was not too bad because I was in, what I like to call, "task oriented" mode. I was the thinking about the legistics of everything. Then the afternoon came, then the evening, then night. Anyone who has ever had anything tragic happen ( or at least seemingly tragic) knows that the later it gets in the day, the more reality begins to settle in. I was with multiple people last night, yet I still felt alone.

The lyrics above are my theme song for this stage of life that God is allowing me to walk through. It is very easy to have the radio on and sing along to a song like this. But it takes on a whole new meaning when the thing(s) you hold dear are stripped away and you have to make the decision to place all that you love and hope for on the altar for God.

Lord I will trust you with my life
though my heart is broken
I will trust you
Through tears and through pain
I will trust you
Though I know not what tomorrow holds
I will trust you
Through this, and all things grow in me a spirit of contentment
Where ever You call me to be, I will trust you

2008-05-06T22:12:00.003-04:00

O Lord I cry out to you. In my time of need I run to you for refuge. Only in you do I find peace. How often I neglect you, turn from you, to lean on my own strength until I fall with no place to lay. My God reach down and comfort your child as I am in great need. My heart is in constant pain, my eyes continually fill with tears. Help me father. Let me know I am not alone, you have not forsaken your daughter in her darkest hour. Bring me peace to my soul; lift the burden from my inner being. I know you will not make me carry more than I can hold, but I am no longer able to bare the weight of this; I cast myself on thee. May your glory and strength shine in my weakness. May those who see me, see only you. Humble thy servant to take comfort at thy feet.

"Come you saints lift up your heads
To find the hand of grace
Has carried you from Satan’s grasp
And brought you to this place
Where all designs of flesh will fail
And still His grace remains
For purposing His own good will
The Lord has come to save

Come you saints to hear the voice
That sings from Calvary
The song that drew our wayward hearts
And brought us to believe
It’s grace the glorious Savior’s song
He paid so dear to sing
The words He cries “forgive, forgive”
Hold power to redeem

When the days of toil end
And comes our glorious King
All sin removed, our eyes behold
The Lamb in majesty
Then great will be their Christian song
The loudest there will be
An endless praise in sweet refrain
Of God’s redeeming grace

Overwhelming, overwhelming grace
Overwhelming, overwhelming grace "

God is Grace

2008-05-05T14:31:00.002-04:00

Today, I am just so in awe of God. I am amazed by His continual mercy and grace in my life. Recently I have begun to understand that God's grace is without conditions. So easily do I fall into the mindset, when God blesses me, that because I have leaned on God and have not strayed during a time of great trial that that is why God is showing me grace. Apparently I am a little slow. Grace by definition is something undeserved. So the fact that I even think that my "good" behavior contributes at all is ridiculous. In Exodus 33:19 God says " I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious...". Grace is in the very essence of God. One of my favorite quotes is " God does not look outside of his own will for an impulse to move his grace." I always knew that I did not have the ability to manipulate God with my actions, but somehow I still always thought that when I was NOT trying to manipulate God, my actions of humility (typed with sarcasm) would put me into God's favor. How earth shattering to know that God's grace is not inspired by my "good" behavior, nor constrained by my failures and wretchedness. Grace is just who God is. And that is something I am extremely grateful for!

Home Sick

2008-04-29T23:50:00.004-04:00

So I didn't want to post anything until I had something profound to write... oh well. I figured I would be waiting a long time and may never actually get this thing started. Now I have paused for a few moments, watching the curser blink at me. The things that are passing through my mind are thoughts I am not sure I want to share. Maybe because puting them out there might actually make them real. For those who do not know from either knowing me or from reading things I have placed on facebook lately, this past year has been pretty rough. I fight through okay, and for the most part seem to be able to pull off seeming calm and collective. I am not. I probably am just more afraid of actually sharing my feelings with people than anything else. My husband and I have been separated now for nine months. Our divorce will be final on thursday, may 8th. My heart breaks over this. That word stares at me and says "failure" . I never thought this would be my marriage. From the time I was little I thought that I would keep my marriage together. Now I have learned it is not solely relying on one person. My life has and is changing dramatically right now. Although I am stumbling through this time barely able to make it day to day, the Lord is gracious to point me back to His mercy and kindness. My greatest need is met. And although my life looks nothing like I thought it would, I have faith that it will be better than I could imagine. Lately, I feel alone. I know I am not. I have wonderful friends and the two most beautiful children I could ever ask for. I am also very excited for the future. For the friendships I will be able to build. For the new adventures I will have. This world is full of trials and pain. But before now I had never understood the phrase " looking forward to going home" as it relates to heaven. I do now. It is this feeling of home sick, like when you are a child and away from your parents. But it is much stronger. Until the day I can behold the face of my creator and join in to say " holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God almighty ; who was, and is, and is to come " ; I will continue to seek His will on earth. There is no other place I am so at peace, than when I know I am seeking Him.